feb 12, 2021

mood: depressed
listening: n/a

B today was absolute shit lol. like, "spent-a-majority-of-it-crying" shit

B they turned my phone off. again. for the third time in less than two years. for no reason

i am so sick of struggling with safelink/tracfone. they have some of the worst customer service i've ever encountered. they're getting paid to provide a service to vulnerable people and instead they use it to shove folks between a rock and a hard place to make them desperate and forcing them to shell out even more money to them

i plan on filing numerous complaints at this point if only bc i'm a salty karen lol but they keep putting me in danger and i'm so livid about it lol

i decided i would borrow money from dad and shell out out of desperation but of fucking course the store didn't have any airtime cards in stock bc fuck me i guess

then i decided well ok, i'll try to find another service. and of course the new one i'm trying to transfer my number to isn't getting back to me either :) i hate this :)))

B i did take the sleep study equipment back to the hospital today but that was... a Problem, bc nothing can ever be easy lol. the car was completely frozen over and took two hours to defrost. then numerous traffic lights were out so it took legit hours to and from the next town over. by the time i got home i was so tired and defeated i just played stardew :,) when in doubt play stardew lol

B going down the stairs i threw my hip out so that's some extra Agony i didn't need but yet again fuck me i guess

B everything's been so Awful i'm not even as pleased with the new layout i made for this diary... but i feel a need to mention it lol. i worked super hard and at least it came out p cute, i think

feb 11, 2021

mood: annoyed
listening: flurrie snoring

B got the machine to do the sleep study on the 9th and it wasn't so bad i guess. i had to have a pulse ox, a nasal canula, and a belt with a monitor on it so it wasn't the most Comfortable thing, but doable. the pulse ox made me kinda numb and the canula was itchy in my nose. since i had to tape the canula to my cheeks and the ox to my hand it hurt to pull the tape off tho ;A; but otherwise that's the worst of it lol

i was supposed to take the machine back today But uhhh considering we have an extreme weather advisory i Did Not Do That. i'll do that tomorrow and hopefully it won't be as dangerous to go out?

B this morning was mega annoying tho. dad woke me up at 6 am saying nana was cold and therefore i had to go and get her. her power went out and had only been out a few hours. i told him i couldn't, i had a minimum amount of time i had to be hooked up to the machinery and in bed. so he ended up going... and sure enough he ended up skidding on ice

then when he got to nana's, a sheriff passed him, and stopped him. bc nana had called the fucking sheriff to come get her. like... dad risked life and limb and she fucking called someone else anyway. bc he took too long. but he needed to defrost the car bc it was entirely covered in ice. that's what ice storms do. cover things in ice. i know she's an old lady and whatnot but god damn it nana this shit was ridiculous

feb 6, 2021

mood: excited
listening: laptop fan lol


it's kinda noisy but Alas that's a price i'm willing to pay for less heat damage to this pc lol

feb 5, 2021

mood: pleased (overall lol)
listening: n/a

B at therapy i told my therapist "well on the internet ppl can just ignore me and keep scrolling when i'm on my bullshit but unfortunately for you you don't have that luxury" and she laughed. she also said "your dad really bugs you, huh," and idk why that's so funny to me but it just feels like a comical understatement i guess

B someone on twitter gifted me discord nitro to use my incredible amount of catboy emoji and im So Pleased! i had to make numerous servers to hold them all bc i have that many. it's hard out here

B got myself a ton of guilty gear games for $13???? made myself sick and almost threw up thinking about making a purchase but i did it anyway lol. yolo, and if i starve bc i spent money on zato-1's pixelated ass then so fucking be it

B bc Not Enough happened on this here day, my lawyer called me to inform that social security hadn't even sent my paperwork in to the determination service until january 25th??? fuck them lol

feb 3, 2021

mood: ruh roh raggy
listening: n/a

B y'all tried the watermelon mountain dew? ya it does taste like watermelon but like. if someone left a watermelon lollipop in a watermelon la croix and it dissolved

B found out that this pc is running windows professional so uhhh idk if that's good or bad lol. still an oops, probably